Four years ago today I joined The Worst Club Ever. This is the day that Scott died of the flu (you might remember the regular old flu from back when) following knee replacement surgery. It was sudden and dramatic and horrific and happened in my driveway so I have an irrational fear of carports.

Anyway, this is not a day we celebrate in my amazing family, at my request (mostly because of the uncontrollable crying) and instead will recognize Scott on his birthday in November.

However . . .recently on the infamous TikTok I have seen people posting slideshows of “Since You’ve Been Gone” acknowledging all the milestones that have come and gone since someone passed on. After four years I feel like there’s enough fodder for a dozen slideshows, but I will just write one blog. I’m sorry for the length, but four years is a long time, or not, depending on how you look at it.

February 15, 2019: Your funeral was amazing. Russ Peterman and Gary Spears presided over a full church, Beau and Noah’s music, Rod and Terry’s stories, and a reception with all your family and friends. You would have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love.

February 18, 2019: Tamala and I re-opened the Dallas Media Center with Steve White stepping in to take over your work, thank God and Adrienne. We also got help over the next 3 years from Jett and Cash Ubben, Kathy Hess, Erichson White, Curt Hines and Joan Riegel. You always wanted to do it all yourself, but I couldn’t have managed without them.

September, 2019: Adam, Corey, Molly and I went on a cruise in the Caribbean, the one that was meant for you. You would have loved it, as we always did love cruising.

October, 2019: Because my mantra is “Say Yes to New Adventures,” I went with your sister Diane and hubby Jeff to Ireland and the Food Festival in tiny Dingle. The trip of a lifetime and the start of my book, “400 Meters to Love.” A terrible working title, I know.

November, 2019: Your mom, Alice, passed away after her long struggle with Alzheimer’s. Diane put together a beautiful service for her which was held in January of 2020.

December, 2019: We lost Traci’s mom, Linda, and Beau’s grandmother, Joann on nearly the same day. The kids and I were able to help Traci with the food for Linda’s reception in one of those strange twists that happens in our family.

What a terrible year, but things were gonna get even worse.

January, 2020: Sarah and I went to Portland to celebrate Erin and Kate’s engagement.

Just in the nick of time because . . .

COVID 19 hit in March and the world shut down.

Except Dallas Media Center, the Energizer Bunny of Tech. We could still run with one person (usually Tamala) in the office and clandestine drop-offs and pickups worthy of the CIA. After a while, I could bring in people on off days and off hours so there was no cross contamination. We managed to stay well. And keep the business going.

So far, I have not gotten COVID, which will jinx me now for sure.

Because Steve was so immuno-compromised after his heart transplant, and my client Martha needed to stay germ-free as well, I built a safe-room at my house for them to edit in a near sterile environment (except for the mountains of equipment still in there.) They are still in there today, editing away.

COVID made everything difficult including shopping (we ordered everything delivered and groceries picked up,) family gatherings (limited to few people, spaced apart, wearing masks,) travel (not at all,) and working (jobs were lost and everyone worked from home.) Schools shut down, businesses were closed, entertainment venues dark, economic and social chaos prevailed.

July, 2020: I drove with sister Leigh Ann to Georgia for 3 weeks at her new lake house. Sister Carol and Robert were renovating theirs two-doors down and we had a wonderful time. Since then I’ve traveled there many times and have come to enjoy floating.

October, 2020: Erin and Kate got married in a tiny, but beautiful ceremony in the woods of Oregon. Sarah went, but the rest of us celebrated at my house with a lovely dinner, champagne and cake. Lyla and Wren were flower girls and processed in, and then we watched the ceremony on Zoom on the back porch.

November and December, 2020: We had strange, distanced Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings, after which almost everyone got COVID. Traci ended up in the hospital where none of us could visit. She recovered, but has suffered from residual effects.

2021 brought the ICE-MAGEDDON, COVID vaccines, boosters and a new freedom. Of sorts. Restaurants re-opened, but delivery and pick up still are a big thing. People still worked from home, but kids went back to school in limited ways. Airlines reopened, but masks were de rigueur.

I began the upstairs renovation on our house with Beau as my contractor. We gutted the bathroom, enlarged it and made it beautiful. The two bedrooms got a makeover, too. The French Room is a comfortable guest retreat and the Honey Oak room houses the furniture Dad made as well as my office and lounge area. I love a good theme.

I started following through on our plans to sell the business and retire by January 2022.

Not so fast, there, buckaroo.

Your desire to keep the business small, but mighty, and my less than professional bookkeeping (I’m a writer, for heaven’s sake!) made selling difficult. In the end I was able to sell portions of the business and nearly all the equipment. The equipment firesale will be one I’ll remember as I felt both disloyal and incredibly relieved to be getting rid of the mountains of equipment I no longer needed, but that you had loved like family.

I celebrated my 50th high school reunion, 2 years late, and then spent Thanksgiving in Georgia with Leigh, Carol and Robert.

Sarah and I went up to Portland for early Christmas with Erin, Kate and Oliver. We introduced tea to the great Northwest. And the year ended with a more normal Christmas holiday. Phew.

And so to 2022. Things were as back to normal as they could be given the uncoiling of the fallout from COVID.

Noah graduated from high school in May. His graduation party was at my house and a great time was had by all. He went off to school at LSU in August, and Traci is rediscovering herself as an empty-nester.

Ted, Carol, Leigh and I hosted a Boyd cousin reunion in July and had a wonderful time partying at the Georgia lake.

Then I took our family back there in August to celebrate our 30-year family-versary.

October, 2023: I took myself to England to visit Andria for a week and tour the castles and gardens of Shropshire, mostly on foot. It was an amazing trip. I’ll play the slideshow for you later.

As we start 2023, Adam, Erin, Molly, Corey and Kate all have new jobs or promotions. Sarah continues her amazing non-profit work. Traci continues to lead her stellar marketing team. And Beau is even more involved in music, especially with the reconstitution of the band Flickerstick. Noah is back at LSU and Lyla, Wren and Oliver are doing well in school and with extra-curriculars. We have lost a few pets, but have welcomed a few more, notably Yeti for the Crains, and two puppies for the Wageners: Smidge and Diggity. I considered getting a dog, but decided to travel instead. More about that later.

I am grateful for my family and yours, my Tapestry ladies, my old LH buddies I see more regularly now, and my TJ friends who rallied around me after you died and who have suffered some hard losses of their own. We are all aging as gracefully as possible.

But, we’re doing it without you and I’m sad about that every day, the milestones and the moments that make a life. All the things you’ve missed.

Since you’ve been gone.