There’s an old movie with Burt Reynolds and Candace Bergen called Starting Over that was a cult favorite of mine. In it a single school teacher, played by Jill Clayburgh, would slip into a silky kimono, drape the lamps in scarves, turn on lounge-y music and light scented candles. . .for herself. No one was coming over; she wasn’t videotaping for TikTok; it wasn’t her birthday. It was just an ordinary Tuesday and she was treating herself to little luxuries.

That scene (among others in that movie) has stayed with me, and I think of it often now that I, too, am single.

And I have begun indulging in little luxuries of my own.

Starting with olives. These have been a symbol of wealth and were only to be eaten off the relish tray at Thanksgiving. Now I enjoy them with a ham sandwich at lunch. Or any other time. Knowing my propensity for them, Beau’s folks, Tamala and Richard, gave me a giant jar for Christmas.

Next would be cocktail napkins. No one needs cocktail napkins, but I love them under my coffee spoon in the morning. I collect funny ones, holiday ones, and seasonal ones. I put them out with drinks at Happy Hour or charcuterie before dinner. A cocktail napkin dresses up a piece of cheese like nothing else.

Mixed nuts with no peanuts. And I don’t save them to put out with the aforementioned relish tray. I eat them all the time, by the handful, whenever I feel like it. Sometimes off a cocktail napkin.

Some of my other little luxuries? Spa music played by Alexa, candles lit any time, not just when company’s coming. Setting the table with the good china for no reason. Cloth napkins with every meal, no matter what. Yes, I have to wash them and fold them, but, no, I don’t iron them. I’m not a martyr to my luxuries.

I asked my children what they do to pamper themselves. Here are some answers (some surprising, others just as you would expect, and many were repeated several times.)

Candles topped several lists. Mani-pedis (getting older, the pedi part is becoming more of a necessity, but these people can still reach their feet.) Coffee and the mugs to go with them, which may or may not include Starbucks. Plants, patios, and a bird feeder (this is also an amusement for the cat.) Shopping for throw pillows. Jazzercise. Dining out with friends and family or even cooking with friends. A cleaning service. Massages. And hair extensions!

Our discussion led to whether some of these are also health related, either physical or mental, and maybe that’s the important thing to remember.

The little niceties we do for ourselves help relieve stress in our lives, lift our spirits, stir up some endorphins, calm our frayed nerves. Aromatherapy is real. Music soothes the savage beast. Happy Hour, even when it’s just me, wine in a graceful stem, and a mini-charcute with a cute napkin, can give me something to look forward to at the end of an afternoon on the computer.

When my grandmother was in her 80s, she was going to Florida for a visit. My mother packed her bag and was surprised to discover a drawer full of beautiful new lingerie, tags still on, never worn, gifts from family members. Mom cut the tags off and packed them into the suitcase for my grandmother to enjoy at last. Otherwise she would have gone to her grave never having indulged in the lovely silk luxuries.

My point is this: Enjoy all the little luxuries now. Indulge your whims, wants, and what ifs. Eat off the good china. Light all the candles. Get a new plant. Buy an exotic coffee or a new throw pillow. Gobble up the olives and nuts before the relish trays go out.

Live your best life now! Don’t wait for a special occasion that may never come.