Christmas was almost a week ago, so while we are still in the Christmas Season until tomorrow, New Year’s Day, or January 6, Twelfth Night or Epiphany (depending or your religion or lack thereof), Christmas Day is now an “ago,” therefore “past.”

It’s possible that only my friend, Melinda, will appreciate this distinction.

Anyway I wanted to tell you about the gift I received on Christmas morning that has already changed my life.

It is an Apple Watch. I do not like Apple products particularly as Apple doesn’t play well with others, hogging their source code and inflating their prices. But, as much as Scott would be yelling HELL NO from beyond the beyond, I have succumbed, first with an iPhone and now with an Apple Watch. I don’t like how they look–a little to “Beam Me Up, Scotty” and I don’t need a second phone on my wrist a la Dick Tracy (isn’t it funny how those two things have come to pass–well, not the beaming up part, just the talking into your flip phone part?)

But I had recently heard an ad for the Apple Watch with FALL DETECTION. Like many people in the Worst Club Ever, I now live alone, with stairs, and showers, and flat, non-threatening floors that seem to rise up and trip me. I wear socks with no tread, God help me, I know, I’m taking my life in my hands. So FALL DETECTION sounded like a something I might want.

I asked my children to give it to me for Christmas, all together, with no other gifts. First, let me say, they all disobeyed me, and I got lovely presents in addition to the watch, which is actually pretty with a beautiful blue band. I was thrilled to receive it, so on Monday, Adam took me to AT&T and we set it up on my cell phone plan.

It works like this: If I should fall or be in a car accident or experience some other catastrophic jar to my person (say, jumping from a plane), the watch will ascertain if I have fallen or whatever and then ask if I need an emergency response team, and if I say yes, it will call 911 for me, and notify my emergency contact.

Molly, who lives the closest and is my emergency contact, and who freaks out if I don’t answer the phone in three rings, breathed a sigh of relief. Adam took me to lunch.

That evening I hosted Tapestry at my home. We gathered for wine before dinner. I got up to check on dinner preparations and promptly fell over a really cute basket of children’s Christmas books I had placed next to the chair.

I went down hard on the kitchen floor, sprawled out like one of my very popular spatchcocked chickens. Before my startled friends could even get to me, my wrist buzzed. Amazingly I looked at my watch.

“Have you fallen?” it queried.

It gave me an array of choices. I pushed “yes.”

“Do you need emergency assistance?” it asked.

“No,” I answered.

I wanted to tell it that Tapestry was there, but that was not a choice I was given.

Nancy and Kathy helped me up. Karen relocated the offending basket of books. And we finished getting dinner ready.

The ridiculous DickTracy/Captain Kirk watch worked like a charm. As your Senior Influencer, I would highly recommend it.

I love it and my children and Tapestry. And, Scott will kill me, but also Apple for making it.

Just don’t tell him I said so.