The picture above is my favorite one of me with my sisters Leigh Ann and Carol (and Carol’s dog Ruby–which, if you’ve read Sensible Shoes, you might recognize as Tess’ boss Ruth, which you can’t tell from this picture–so, never mind.) I use it to illustrate my point about my inability to take a good photo. Partly because I’m usually laughing, but also for the reasons enumerated below.

Except for school photos through the years, I have only had one portrait made. When I was five and it hung in its gilt frame in the family living room for my whole life.

But lately, it has become painfully obvious that my array of selfies and candid photos was not going to be suitable for my new career as an author. (Yes, I’m embracing it as hard as it is to admit.)

1. When I’m on a Zoom workshop, meeting, or whatever, there is no angle in which I can set the laptop to make it look like I have hair past the two strands hanging on either side of my face.
2. In every picture, no matter how much makeup I put on myself, I have slitty, embryo eyes. This was not as apparent before I got invisible, clear glasses. What was I thinking?
3. I have chipmunk cheeks. There is just no other way to put it.
4. My smile has become a sort of grimace I don’t recognize. Like I’ve eaten moldy food.
5. I would have to mount the camera on the ceiling to get it high enough to do away with my double chin.
6. The neck twaddle.

There are a number of reasons for these issues, not the least of which is that I am 73. (Yes, I’m embracing it as hard as it is to admit.) There’s not much I can do about it, except rant to the gods of aging (a cruel lot.)

Anyway, I digress.

I had to have a portrait made, so I brought a photographer into my house. This sounds cringy for sure, but it’s the new way of doing things. They no longer seem to have studios. He brought the whole studio–backdrop, lights, etc.—— with him. Molly did my makeup, so it actually showed up, which was a miracle–or skill, more likely.

And so, I have a lovely new professional headshot to send to all these places that seem to want one.

It’s only taken 68 years.